Tag Archives: Funny

Don’t Mess with Mama!

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While visiting over Easter, my family began to commiserate over funny stories. All of them garnered a laugh, but the one about Mama and the Jehovah’s Witnesses took the cake. In fact, it’s so funny that I decided to share it here with you. Besides, encouragement isn’t always a lofty saying or even a Scripture reference; sometimes, it’s just a good laugh.


 

When I was a teenager, our family lived in a big neighborhood. It was really nice, but it often attracted solicitors, from the Schwan’s truck to Jehovah’s Witnesses (JW). Now, Mom wasn’t opposed to a Schwan’s frozen pizza every now and then, but she was not about to convert to JW—which should have been obvious given that the following Scripture was painted above our door post:

“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15b NAS).

The guys from the local JW must have had us on their list, though, because they kept coming by the house on Saturday mornings. Each time, Mom pointed to the Scripture above the door as she declined their offer, nicely but firmly.

One Saturday morning, she answered the door, and the same two men from the JW started in again with their spiel. But this time, they began to move closer and closer to her. Mom knew these guys were persistent, but they had never been aggressive.

Suddenly, one of them pointed to the ground behind him and said, “Um, Ma’am, there’s a snake trying to get in your house!” Sure enough, a black snake had curled up next to a pot in the portico, trying to avoid the hot summer sun. Only now it was pinning the JWs against Mom and the front door—and it was obvious the guys would rather barge through the door than walk around that snake!

Now totally frustrated with the JWs and the snake, Mom walked right through the two men, bent down, picked up the snake, walked across the driveway, and threw the snake into the yard, all the while explaining, “I just can’t keep these snakes from coming up to the door!”

When Mom turned back around, she realized that the JWs’ van was parked in our driveway—and that it was full of men, all with their mouths wide open!

The two guys at the door made an excuse and left in a hurry. We always wondered what they said to their friends in the van about the crazy woman who threw snakes at them. I guess they crossed us off their list as holy rollers or something, though, because they never came back to our house.

As for the snakes…it wouldn’t be the last time Mom would have to move an ornery one from our house. But I guess those tales are for another time.

In searching for meaning in this silly story, I can think of two important lessons we should all know and follow:

1. No means no; and
2. Don’t mess with Mama.


Mother’s Day is 5/13/18. If you have funny stories involving your Mom (and who doesn’t?), consider writing them down and sharing them with family over a Mother’s Day lunch. Everyone will get a good laugh, and you’ll help ensure those funny stories aren’t lost to time.

You might be from a small Southern town if…

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You might be from a small Southern town if…

  1. You’ve ever been late to school because you were feeding the cows, mucking the stalls, or driving the tractor.
  2. You worked all during high school…not because your parents wanted to teach you the value of money but because you knew what it was like not to have any.
  3. Your high school has a training center for early learning and development…which doubles as a day care center for students with kids.
  4. There are two major religions…Christianity and football.
  5. Working at Wal-Mart, Publix, or Lowe’s means you have a “good job.” Having a management position anywhere means you “made it.” Owning your own business makes you hometown royalty.
  6. You’ve always dreamed of moving to the big city, which is actually just the next town over.
  7. Flip flops, shorts, and tank tops are acceptable attire for every occasion, but “getting dressed up” usually involves your best jeans and cammo (even at weddings and funerals).
  8. Every event involves food, usually prepared and eaten outside or in a barn or garage. Paper plates and Solo cups are a must, and what you call “Southern China.”
  9. Going on a date usually involves dinner at Applebee’s and hanging out in the Wal-Mart parking lot. (If you’re out of high school, it might include a stroll through Lowe’s.)
  10. “Goin’ muddin’” is an acceptable past-time for family get-togethers or dates. The dirtier the truck on Monday morning, the more fun you had on Saturday evening.

Yes, I’m from a small Southern town – and proud of it!

Robby found a tractor at the Worm Gruntin’ Festival in Sopchoppy, FL. Photo taken by Ashley.